Broken Bonus Content

Savio: Your ass is driving me insane. I want to bend you over the kitchen table and fuck you against it.

 

Savio: But, before I do, I’m going to eat you and I’m not going to stop until you’re begging for my cock. I want my mouth covered in you. I’m not going to stop until I’m drowning in your pussy juices.

 

Diana: STOP! Holy hell, Savio. This is the GROUP chat. Remember?!

 

Andrea: Erm, oops?

 

Andrea: But also

 

Diana: I should be embarrassed, but mostly I’m freakin’ jealous

 

Diana: Who the hell would have known a priest could have a dirty mind like that?

 

Andrea: Ex-priest

 

Savio: Can we please forget you ever read that?

 

Andrea: *snorts* Nice try

 

Andrea: Diana’s dick starved because her current one can’t use it right. You just fired up her imagination in all the wrong ways.

 

Savio: God help me

 

Andrea: Watch it, lol. That’s pretty close to our vows

 

Diana: Huh? Which vows? Your wedding ones?

 

Andrea: Nah. Entirely different variety

 

Andrea: Diana already knows you’re a freak between the sheets, Savio, so don’t worry about it.

 

Savio: WHAT?!

 

Andrea: Who do you think I go to for advice?

 

Andrea: She’s the reason I can do that thing with my tongue

 

Savio:

 

Savio: I’m both mortified and grateful

 

Savio: Why do you like to distress me so, mon ange?

 

Andrea: I like to keep you on your toes

 

Diana: Why you call her mon ange is beyond me. She’s the opposite of an angel

 

Andrea: Hey!

 

Savio: I tried calling her diavoletta, but it never took

 

Andrea: No, because I’m all

 

Diana: HA. No one believes that. Especially not me.

 

Savio: Wait, before I perish out of sheer embarrassment, that thing on the thing with the thing… that was… Diana?

 

Diana: Probably

 

Andrea: The thing with the butt plug? Yup, that was all her

 

Savio: No, I meant with the shoes on the… thing.

 

Savio: Nom de Dieu, it was, wasn’t it?

 

Savio: If neither of you ever hear from me again, you’ll understand why

 

 

 

 

 

Andrea: Savio?

 

Diana: Savio?

 

Diana: Think he’s really expired from mortification?

 

Andrea: Perhaps.

 

Diana: Figured he’d be mad you asked me that stuff, not embarrassed lol

 

Andrea: It’s his fault he opened the wrong chat

 

Andrea: Don’t worry, I’ll kiss his booboos better

 

Diana: So, I tried out something with Damian.

 

Andrea: He of the nine inches?

 

Diana: Yeah. It was an interesting experiment actually

 

Andrea: The deep throating?

 

Andrea: What have you learned?

 

Diana: I can adapt to the length but it’s the curve that gets me every time

 

Andrea: Savio’s as straight as a ruler. I’m grateful lol. Though if he was a little thinner, I’d be able to get more of him down.

 

Diana: A straight shaft comes with its own issues. I gag all the time with dicks like that

 

Savio: Please, God, let me leave this chat

 

Savio: I’m grateful that you can talk about these things together, but not with me present?

 

Savio:

 

Diana: A couple should have no secrets

 

Savio: Ha! I used to counsel married couples, Diana. The key to longevity is manageable secrets. Not whether one is a secret shoplifter but the little things like, I hate the socks you wear and I wish you stabbed food with your fork and didn’t scoop it up

 

Diana: Is this a message for Andrea?

 

Andrea: Hey!

 

Andrea: I don’t even wear socks aside from the…

 

Andrea: Wait! Is that why you always stuff socks in my stocking at Christmas?

 

Savio: No, of course not

 

Diana: How can anyone have a sock preference?

 

Andrea: And what’s wrong with scooping? Everyone scoops!

 

Diana: Actually, they don’t. I noticed in Madrid it’s very much an American thing. Like ice water served automatically with every meal at a restaurant.

 

Andrea: I can’t believe I’m learning about your pet peeves in a conversation with my best friend!!

 

Diana: Not sure you can complain when you told me he has a straight ten-inch schlong, babe

 

Savio: YOU TOLD HER THAT?

 

Diana: Hey, like you didn’t ask me where to buy the best vibrators from, bud?

 

Savio: You know too much about our marriage

 

Diana: What can I say? I’m a good listener. Plus, Andrea’s the one who keeps a check on the guys I date so it’s only fair

 

Savio: What do you mean? How does she keep a check on your dates?

 

Andrea: I have a spreadsheet

 

Savio: A spreadsheet?

 

Andrea: Yep!

 

Savio: What’s on it?

 

Andrea: Names, addresses, likes, dislikes, allergies, sexual preferences. Stuff like that

 

Savio: I’m not sure why I’m even surprised

 

Andrea: Me neither lol.

 

Savio:

 

Savio: The pair of you drive a man to drink

 

Diana: You’re the one who invited me to live with you

 

Savio: For a month. Not ten years.

 

Diana:

 

Savio:

 

Savio: Though, if this is the kind of stuff you talk about when you’re supposed to be editing books together, get her the appropriate links to teach her how to learn poker

 

Andrea: Say what?

 

Savio: I have ideas, mon ange.

 

Andrea: That involve poker?

 

Diana: I can teach her. My asshole of an ex taught me how so we… OHHHHhhhh.

 

Diana: Poker lessons CUMMING right up

 

Andrea: I’m doubling down on the SAY WHAT?!!

 

Savio: You’ll find out soon enough, diavoletta

 

Savio: Now, be a good girl and get your ass in the kitchen so that I can fuck you.

 

Savio: And Diana, make yourself scarce

 

Diana: Orgasm alert!

 

Diana: I’m going to go over to Damian’s place. The last thing I need is to endure yet another soundtrack of you two going at it like rabbits. If only earplugs worked

 

Diana: You guys?

 

Diana: Hey, are you fucking already?

 

Diana: Don’t answer that. I heard it loud and clear