Bonus Scene
Text Chat
Aidan Sr.: Conor, what have you done to my phone?
Conor: Nothing.
Aidan Sr.: It keeps pinging.
Conor: That’s because you have notifications.
Aidan Sr.: Why do I have them? I didn’t have them before.
Conor: That’s because your phone was so old you could still play Snake on it.
Aidan Sr.: Good game that.
Conor: It’s ancient.
Aidan Sr.: So am I, boy.
Aidan Sr.: o.o What does that mean?
Aidan Sr.: Dammit, where are my glasses?
Conor: Probably on your head.
Conor: They usually are.
Conor: It means, well, I’m bug-eyed.
Aidan Sr.: You need glasses too?
Conor: No. means I’m bug-eyed.
Aidan Sr.: Oh. Why are you?
Conor: Is there a reason you wanted to upgrade your phone? Was it just to pester me?
Aidan Sr.: Pester? Well, that’s a fine accusation.
Conor: It isn’t an accusation. I already told you how to work the damn thing.
Aidan Sr.: Shay’s a better teacher.
Aidan Sr.: Far more patient.
Conor: Probably because Aela raised him. I don’t think he’d have been as patient if we had anything to do with it.
Aidan Sr.: You really think that?
Conor: Don’t you?
Aidan Sr.: I don’t know.
Conor: I do. We’re many things, Da, but patient isn’t one of them.
Aidan Sr.: I’m patient with you.
Conor: Ha! Since when?
Aidan Sr.: Since forever! I fine you, don’t I?
Conor: Taking my money is a sign of patience?
Aidan Sr.: Well, yes. Any other fucker and I’d chop their limbs off. That’s patience, ain’t it?
Conor: I’m speechless.
Aidan Sr.: That’s a first.
Conor: It is. It really is.
Conor: So, you didn’t want a phone just to piss me off?
Aidan Sr.: My goal in this life isn’t to piss you off, Conor.
Conor: You sure? ^^
Aidan Sr.: I’m sure. What’s with the arrows?
Conor: Never mind.
Aidan Sr.: How am I supposed to learn if you won’t teach me?
Aidan Sr.: Now who’s being impatient?
Conor: *sighs*
Aidan Sr.: You sighing at me, boy?
Conor: IRL and over the phone.
Aidan Sr.: IRL?
Conor: Da, seriously, you bitch at me for taking too long to shore up my code for our buildings’ security… If you think I have time to explain text talk to you as well, you’re nuts.
Aidan Sr.: I think the whole of New York knows that, son.
Conor: Did you just make a joke?
Conor: Seriously? Holy crap, what aren’t you telling me? Did something happen? Is Ma in the hospital? I swear, you all treat me like I’m fucking eight. I’m not. I can handle this shit.
Aidan Sr.: Whoa, cool your jets.
Aidan Sr.: Nobody is in the hospital. Nobody is sick. Nobody is dead.
Conor: Then what aren’t you telling me?
Aidan Sr.: Nothing! I just wanted to talk to you.
Conor: Why?
Conor: Not unless you want to give me shit.
Aidan Sr.: That’s not fair.
Conor: Isn’t it?
Aidan Sr.: NO. It isn’t. We talk.
Conor: Since when? Shit, what aren’t you telling me?
Conor: Da?
Conor: DA!
*Ten minutes later*
Conor: Now you stop fucking messaging me. I want to know what the hell is going on?
*Thirty minutes later*
Aidan Sr.: Don’t blaspheme in front of me.
Conor: I should have blasphemed earlier. It’s like your Bat call.
Aidan Sr.: It’s also a nice way to get your ass to church.
Aidan Sr.: I didn’t mean that.
Conor: Didn’t mean what?
Conor: Anyway, I can’t go to St. Patrick’s. Ya know, it’s been burned down.
Aidan Sr.: Yeah.
Aidan Sr.: I didn’t mean that.
Conor: Of course you did lol. I think you’d be happy if I lived at church.
Aidan Sr.: No.
Conor: Remember that year when I hacked into NASA? I was almost bunking down on a pew I spent so much time there.
*Five minutes later*
Conor: Da?
Aidan Sr.: Yes, son.
Conor: What’s going on? You’re being weird.
Conor: Weirder than usual. Did you take your meds today?
Aidan Sr.: Yes. I did.
Conor: Did Ma take hers?
Aidan Sr.: Yes, son.
Conor: Hmm.
Conor: Okay. Look, I’ll teach you how to use the fucking phone.
Aidan Sr.: It’s all right. I’ll get Shay to do it. I need to teach him I’m not a monster anyway.
Aidan Sr.: Just because I don’t like ballet doesn’t mean I’m a monster.
Conor: He doesn’t think you’re a monster. He thinks you’re a bigot.
Aidan Sr.: And that’s supposed to be better?
Conor: Well, no.
Conor: But at least one is scarier than the other.
Conor: Anyway, a way for you to do that will be to get him to teach you without you terrifying him.
Aidan Sr.: No shouting?
Conor: Definitely no shouting.
Aidan Sr.: No swearing?
Conor: He’s a cool kid, Da. You don’t need to swear at him. But if you do, then don’t worry about it. He swears more than Aela knows anyway.
Aidan Sr.: Parents never know everything, do they?
Conor: Lol, no. Thank God.
Conor: You used to say I turned your hair gray, but if you knew everything, then you’d have gone white at forty.
*Twenty minutes later*
Conor: Da? Where do you keep disappearing?
Aidan Sr.: Nowhere.
Aidan Sr.: Your mother’s got herself all fired up over meeting Savannah’s parents.
Conor: I can’t blame her.
Aidan Sr.: Surprised you didn’t try to wangle an invitation to the dinner.
Conor: I did try. Aidan told me to fuck off. Said if I wanted to slobber all over his soon-to-be father-in-law then I could do it when I paid for a ticket to one of Dagger’s concerts.
Aidan Sr.: What did you tell him?
Aidan Sr.: That’s a grin, right?
Conor: It is. Lol. The D is a grinning mouth.
Aidan Sr.: I don’t see it. But Victoria told me that one.
Aidan Sr.: Never thought I’d see the day I had so many Reds under my roof, teaching me how to use a fucking phone…
Conor: Probably a good thing Grandda isn’t alive.
Aidan Sr.: A very good thing. You think I’m hardcore? He’d never have let Brennan marry Camille. He’d have had her killed.
Conor: No way.
Aidan Sr.: Yes. Irish all the way, your grandda.
Conor: But Brennan loves her.
Aidan Sr.: I know.
Conor: He’d still have had her killed?
Aidan Sr.: Yes. Once upon a time, I might have done the same thing too. I’m getting soft in my old age.
Conor: Da, I remember you ‘hard.’ I much prefer this.
Conor: You built a legacy, that’s for damn sure.
Aidan Sr.: A legacy. I suppose that’s one thing you could call it.
Conor: Your name isn’t just whispered. Not like Grandda’s. You’re almost legit.
Aidan Sr.: He wouldn’t have approved.
Conor: He’d have liked your bank account.
Aidan Sr.: Yes, he damn well would have.
Conor: Anyway, do you want to learn some emojis?
Aidan Sr.: If I must.
Conor: You don’t have to use them. But recognizing them is wise.
Aidan Sr.: Go ahead.
Conor: Remember this one? ^^
Aidan Sr.: I do.
Conor: It means ‘I’m being cheeky.’
Aidan Sr.: Ha! That should be beside your name.
Aidan Sr.: Conor
**Five minutes later**
Conor: Where did you go?
Conor: Do I need to throw some Jesuses at you? How about a ‘For God’s sake?’
Aidan Sr.: ^^ O’Donnelly
Aidan Sr.: Damn, they took me a while to find.
Aidan Sr.: No blaspheming.
Conor: Shay will show you the ropes. I just texted him with a bribe.
Aidan Sr.: A bribe?
Conor: Well, let’s face it, Da. Teaching you how to use a phone isn’t how any teenager would want to spend his Saturday afternoon. I think a single lesson is one thing, but you’ll need several.
Aidan Sr.: What’s the bribe?
Conor: That you’d take him to Queens of Heart
Aidan Sr.: You trying to get your mother to hit me with a rolling pin again?
Conor: That’s Shay’s price. Not mine.
Aidan Sr.: How the hell did he find out about that place?
Conor: I think Brennan told him.
Aidan Sr.: Remind me to kick his ass.
Aidan Sr.: No. I didn’t mean that.
Conor: Of course you did lol.
Aidan Sr.: No. I’m trying to turn over a new leaf.
Aidan Sr.: Never mind.
Conor: A new leaf where you’re not violent? Lol. Isn’t that asking for a miracle.
**Five minutes later**
Conor: DA! JESUS! FOR GOD’S SAKE. GODDAMMIT.
Aidan Sr.: No blaspheming!
Aidan Sr.: Aela’s going to kill me.
Conor: Yeah, but you’ll get quality time with your grandson.
Aidan Sr.: At a stripclub, Conor!
Conor: Hahahaha. I think I’ll take some time off and visit with you.
Aidan Sr.: Can’t you just take him?
Conor: Where would be the quality time between grandfather and grandson then, huh?
Conor: LOL.
Aidan Sr.: You keep saying that. What does it mean?
Conor: Laugh Out Loud
Conor: Okay, next emoji you need to learn.
Aidan Sr.: Hit me with it.
Aidan Sr.: Very funny, Conor. Very funny. Even I know that one.
Text Chats
